395th

I used to feel so lost at times. Most times I am beside myself when it comes to dealing with pain, sorrow or even tragedy. I have this innate ability to completely detach myself from my own feelings and don’t acknowledge them as mine. Maybe it’s my way of dealing with negativity and I have to say that although most times it serves me well, there are times whereby I feel as though I am robotic when it comes to dispensing some form of human emotions towards others. There are times I get a person or two to confess to me their feelings for me that has been going on for donkey years but the only probable reaction you will most likely get from me is that of utter disbelief or worse, shock.

Other times, I may also get angry when I lose something but most times, I think I am born different from the normal human. I don’t cry when others cry and my quick-reflex actions are almost always, a talking point of others. Call me weird but I feel that my anti-ways are best-fit to my perceptions and reactions on a day-to-day basis.

Prior to discovering this lovely white spot online, I cram everything that I am feeling in my head; in my head. Like literally. Now that I have found this comforting solace, I find myself lacking the time to adorn it with the magic moments of writing. Now I am considering getting myself a smart phone as that seems to be the only way I can constantly write in here as my poor old laptop, Toby, takes a million years to start-up and by the time he does, I would have prolly drool-ed all over him. Not that I drool but whatever, it’s just an example.

However, I am a tech-noob so how on Earth can I possibly narrow down my search for the perfect smartphone ? Apple’s iPhone 3G is just too common and I find them exceptionally over-rated. Blackberry’s Storm II is like the ultimate Vertu of my dreams but not at this age of 21-going-on-22. Maybe when I am 25 or when I am at a higher position, not when I am still a Trainee Manager / 2nd Assistant Manager. There is this perception that BBs are meant for business people; what kind of business am I dealing with right now ? Zilch. Precisely my point. I am not even my own Boss, yet. So who the heck am I to want to walk around with a device which I may not end up using say, 78% of its apps for the moment ? HTC seems good but rumor has it that it is made in China so, no good. The last thing I want is to die from lead poisoning coming from touching my phone. Samsung Galaxy S is like the closest thing to iPhone and it is lesser-popular than the latter but is it any good ? iPhone 4G coming up in the near future seems like a good investment but not when it comes with a four-figure price tag.

Good Lord, technology is a good and bad thing. Surely more bad than good for me.

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