Sometimes people don’t understand why I am built-in such a manner that may appear as though I am hostile one minute but lovely the next. What they fail to realize is that I have requested to be viewed as an enemy in their eyes but they refuse to take into consideration my desires and instead, want me to let them build up on their own illusions. I am a softie, I won’t tell you in your face I hate you because you did something that hurt me previously. Instead, I will slowly detach myself from you, your heart, you mind, your body and your soul. So slowly that by the time you realize that I am gone, I would have prolly been treading a thousand miles away from you.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not hating you. I just feel that its going to be an uphill task being with you knowing for a fact that you have your own demons to fight with in the back of your closet. I want someone to compliment, not someone to make me whole or someone who is only whole when I am around. That is just wrong as if I do pass on before you, what will happen to you ? Will that make you one half of a man ? It’s still too early to want to broach the topic of a commitment with me, in fact, like what I’ve mentioned ages ago; I never saw an immediate future with you. More like, I see you hovering around in my life but definitely not as a significant other kind of material.
I don’t want to rush into things hence I suggested we reverted back to being good friends but you are going around mopping and feeling as though it is the end of the road for you and the bachelor pad will be your next immediate destination. Why can’t you give me room to breathe and see who I want to spend the rest of my life with instead of revolving my life around you and hoping that will help to soften my heart which has solidified its titanium content again after the May – September drama ?