The Moving Year

Till date, I have yet to find a moment in 2010 whereby I bawled my eyes out over a sad situation that I have to go through. Hence, I should be considerably eternally grateful that my year 2010 has been going great by the days. Maybe, there are the sporadic tears here and there but all in all, I think my year has been going great.

Alhamdulillah.

Thanks be to God.

I hope to end the year on a high note as I think it has been going on too long that I see tragedy going through my years. Maybe luck and happiness is finally settling down into my corner. It’s not that I am complaining one bit though. Sometimes I am in disbelief as to how lucky I have been this year that I feel the absolute need to pinch myself to wake myself into reality. Most times I nurse the bruises on the arm but other times, I just hope the happiness and wide smiles last for another tomorrow.

Ultimately, it is my goal; to be happy, live happy, love happy, work happy and sleep happy. At least then I will know should God take me away tomorrow, I know my todays were filled to the brim with lots of happy thoughts, happy people, happy environment and happiness all over. Sure, death is such a morbid thought and topic to talk about but I do feel that to ever be ready for my own passing, I would want the world to be as happy as possible.

Be the change you want to see in the world.
– Mahatma Ghandhi

I put up that quote in my bathroom as a form of motivation for the start of my day, especially during those days I feel like the world is against me or when I have one extra thick eyebag to face up to the world – something which is remotely depressing if you ask me – when I check my face first thing in the mirror. So yeah, a little motivation helps, no ?

Then there’s the family that I have been extremely blessed to have,

Papa; the strongest and most resilient man I’ve ever known. He never shows the pain he goes through even though he has to go through those uber painful chemotherapies and dental surgeries from the ill-effects of chemotherapy. Who knew the father who was the livewire of the family could be that strong ? I wouldn’t be able to imagine what it will be like to be in his shoes to go to the hospital every other week and spend almost the entire day with needles in and out of him. Yes, he may be a shadow of his old jubilant self but his quiet demeanor gives me room to see the strength a man, a husband, a father, a grandfather, a friend who has seen troubled times but never leave any room for self-pity or even depression. Papa is a very strong person, but strong is clearly an understatement.

Mama; the backbone of Papa. The one who tolls endlessly to Singapore General Hospital with Papa for every single appointment without a single no-show. She never complains, never voices her tiredness; she just goes about doing her tasks like a dutiful wife to the man she loves. She cooks for us and cooks a separate meal for Papa if he doesn’t want to eat whatever she cooked for us without even rebutting. Even if she has to do the household laundry and clean the house after cooking twice. Tell me, where on Earth can you find a superheroine like that ? She’s my Wonder Woman, the one I turn to with men / school / work / friends / PMS trouble. The one who knows whatever bad deeds I’ve done yet refuse to name anyone of them as she doesn’t want to bear witness to them on Judgement Day. The one who constantly worries for my safety and stays up with Papa when they know I am heading home very late into the morning from work. The one who gives me enough  breathing space to grow yet still maintain her stance as a fierce and no-nonsense Mother. Mama, the one who defines me as a woman who teaches me to be who I am now without ever giving a lapse of my own judgement of others.

Caca; my eldest brother. The no-nonsense Brother who is a man of very few words yet when he speaks, his opinion almost always silences everyone. The one who picks me up when I missed my last bus home and quizzes my choice of men who I bring him to meet my parents. The financial genius among the three of us since I am hopeless in Maths while second brother is an engineer. He’s blunt and straight-forward yet is such a woman’s man that he remained popular despite being married for a good few years. I don’t deny it, I think he is charming and if he weren’t my brother – and I am a good few years older, say 27 – I would want to date him too ! Okaye, shush, that’s a secret 🙂

Cicik; my second brother. The joker in the family who loves his family and loves mingling with the aunties and cousins alike. The one who bugs me with his incessant urge to keep bags and bags full of clothing labels / newspapers / bubble wraps and so much more in my room that I have to draw a line between our tables so that he won’t eat into my space. The one who is my unofficial chauffeur and walking street directory – can’t live without him when I need to go to new locations and have no idea where the place is. He is the avid globe-trotter who doesn’t mind spending 80 Pounds on a Paddington Bear in a Luggage Trunk for his sister just because he knows she will love it very much despite her being close to her mid-twenties. Ok, I am only 21 but I’d like to be seen as a matured adult. Oh well, what’s there not to love ?

*

So tell me, how can I say my life isn’t wonderful ? I am very grateful, so grateful that I will give up the world just to see the same people in my Next Life sitting on the Heavenly Bench as we munch on dates and live eternally in God’s Land.

With much, much love from me  to everyone out there !

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