I took 1.5 years to get back on my feet after:
(a) I received the news of my Daddy’s bone & blood cancer diagnosis
(b) Wawa had stroke at home and I wasn’t there
(c) I went through a bitter and painful break-up which ended acrimoniously after 3 years of being with him
(d) It dawned on me that I will never be able to further my studies as planned..
… and all that happened in a twisted vicious cycle; like one after another test being laid out in front of me by Him. Although I was at the lowest point of my life, I never looked at Him and question Him why he chose me to go through all that in one shot. Funny how instead of killing myself (something I would prolly do if I were my immatured self at age 14), I turned to Him; the very One who was throwing all these supposed tests at me.
I prayed for the first time in many, many years and till this date, I have no idea what pushed me to want to wake up from my restless sleep and just solat even though then, I barely remembered the lines to a proper prayer. After all, I was beyond wayward then; dabbling my feet in hypocrisy, lust and so much more sins that I don’t think He will forgive until I make a brand new start.
But anyway, during the transition of the triple tragedies till now, I still hold dear to me the thought of furthering my studies and maybe someday, pick up the books to read Marketing or Advertising someday. I still yearn to wear that badge that my peers are currently basking in. You know, the badge that says, ” I am a degree-holder from so-and-so university..” Yeah, the typical liner I have been dying to say with pride.
But joining the corporate life ahead of my school-going peers isn’t all that bad after all. Sure, my friends will look and snigger as a top Scholar ends up in (just) McDonald’s while they’re chasing after that elusive degree, Masters’, PhD and so much more. I know when I see some of my friends in-store, they have this high-up-in-the-air look whereby they feel so much more mighty than me just because they are my paying guests who indirectly pay for my monthly pay check. Trust me, coming from a woman with a swelled-up ego of a man, that took a hell lot of beating on my weary soul for a while.
But All Praises be with the Lord as He granted me the eyes to see beyond all that and see that at the end of the day, I have the upper hand versus the rest of the paper-qualification-chasing world. I entered the workforce at a tender age of twenty, the very age I am supposed to be in my 2nd Year in NTU or NUS. The inexperience that comes with my young age makes me an easier “sponge” to teach as compared to the other corporate people twice my age. I am in the same position as those adults, five or six years older than me. The only difference is that they are in the position because they are qualified (they have the degrees to boot) while I am in the same position as the higher-ups in McDonald’s see a potential in me and look past my diploma qualification.
Sure, walking past the fact that I may trail behind in terms of studies isn’t an easy walk to tread upon but considering the benefits I am reaping thus far, why should I continue to look down upon myself just because I am not a degree-holder ? Other people out there see the spark in me and it came to a time whereby I should look at myself the way others see me. There’s so, so much to life than just a degree and if you ask me now whether I want to save up my money for an education, I’d say no confidently. Not anymore a meek and barely audible “No” as I know if He destines me to study in the future, the world will work out its way to my favor somehow.
All Praises to Our Higher Order.
All Thanks be to God.