A Grim Reminder

This question & answer post initially was meant to be posted in 2011 but I never went around writing it.

Question: What’s it take to put a ring around my finger in this lifetime?

Answer: A whole lot of guts, thick-skinned belief & the promise of a lifetime of love, laughter & happiness.


Today, I was doing a google search of my ex-SHATEC lecturer whom I heard had passed away recently and I winded up chancing upon an ex-boyfriend who turned up on the same search. Turns out he was getting married to the girl that he hooked up with after our relationship crumbled. He ended up on the Google search as apparently the girl and him are getting their pre-wedding video done in the school. Did they even dated during the duration of our tertiary education? Funny that they had that video taken as during the course of the time that I was in school, he was dating me and we were together for the entire 3 years of my studies while he graduated after the 2nd year so how was it possible that SHATEC was where their love blossomed? I felt cheated then, I still feel the same now.

Somehow or rather, seeing his photo with the girl was like opening back an old wound. Forgive me for doing that but I didn’t expect that I would chance upon him while searching for “Christopher Loh”. In all honesty, I do not harbor any hard feelings for him and I sincerely wish him well. It is just the thought of seeing him in a photo shook me down to my core as after all, he was in that part of my life that was too painful to remember yet important to remember so as not to go down the same road again.

I sincerely wish you happiness Muhammad ‘Izzat bin Said in your upcoming nuptials. I never crossed paths with you ever since and I don’t hope for that day I ever will. I prefer that you remain hidden deep in my past as a grim reminder of what love can do to a person if the person is too in love with someone else.

I am thankful and blessed that the one I am with is in no way the same as you. I am thankful that when I left you, the One that was meant for me came into my life was the Heaven I was searching for; syukran for that. Alhamdulillah!


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