365 Days Plus Without You

How is the air up there in Heaven daddy? I miss you lots every single day. Funny how your passing doesn’t seemed to make me miss you any lesser. In fact I still wonder and think of you every single day as when you were still alive.

Goodbye

 

I missed your smile the most. I also missed seeing you shuffling between the rooms, sleeping with the tv on, smelling your greying hair and scrubbing your back for a home-made spa. I missed nagging at you to eat your medicines. I missed holding your hand when I measure your BP. I missed wheeling you around on the wheelchair at top speed which you always say makes your heart hurt but you unabashedly admit that it was fun. I missed telling you stories about work. I missed having you at the kitchen, happily taste-testing my random recipes I found on the Internet. I missed seeing you wearing your favorite Goldlion belt and slouchy polo pants to the hospital. I missed cutting your toe nails and buffing them up to a pristine shine. I missed reminding you to brush your teeth before you sleep. I missed asking you if you are okay. I missed telling you that it will all be okay. I missed waking up at ungodly hours and checking on you. I missed checking your glucose level and writing them in the chart book. I missed telling Dr Satish how great you are doing. I missed seeing you devour the crab claws from Hei Sushi and your favorite fried tofu. I missed you giving me that cheeky smile, telling me you want a tad bit of Sprite and winded up drinking everything. 

Death

I have not been writing not because I am having a writer’s block. I did not write the last month plus as I wasn’t ready to face writing about 17th July 2014 which is the one year anniversary since Daddy passed on. Moving on to present-day, I will be facing yet another challenge to pass through. That hurdle happens to be Daddy’s birthday coming up on 29th August. You would have been 65 this year Daddy! It is the age when the government gives you back all the CPF money that you have been saving for all your life Daddy dear. Now, all that plan is just shelved for a rainy day for the family; for Mum.

Transition

I swear I feel your presence all around during the fasting month Daddy. Now that Eid is already over, I missed feeling that presence I felt and I sincerely look forward to the next one. I know the only consolation I feel with you gone is that you are no longer in any pain and that is comforting to me.

Till then, have a blast up there in Heaven Daddy. I am right here smack in the middle of Earth praying for your well-being and safety always. 

I love you more than words can ever say.

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