“In life, when you have to make a choice between the one who loves you and the one you love, choose the one who loves you because you cannot teach a person to love you, but you can always love back the person who pours immense love over you.”

Love; it’s a four-letter  cruel word with such in-depth and non-generic meaning. Consider this, the love dogs have been biting my ass off for as long as I ever remembered & I’ve yet to see the love blossoming between me and a significant other and having that love translate into something majestic like a happily ever after. Maybe love isn’t my cup of tea, yet. Or maybe love is just meant to be cherished in those good old fairytale books that I cherished since I was 4.


At the age of 11, I would like to blame my introvert nature for not allowing me to muster the courage to the classmate whom I had a crush on for 2 years.

Lesson: To learn not to be too shy.

At the age of 14, I would like to blame my naivety when my first crush packed his bags for Australia and having that love never being realised even till now.

Lesson: To learn not to be too blinded.

At the age of 16, I would like to blame my eagerness to be in love that results in me engaging in a long-distanced relationship that was filled with plenty of ups and downs.

Lesson: To learn never to rush into love.

At the age of 20, I would like to blame my immaturity for giving up three years of my life for a person who took away my dreams & aspirations alongside my bank account money.

Lesson: To learn not to trust others too easily.

At age of 21, I would like to blame my stupidity for letting another person trample all over my feelings when he said, “I don’t feel your love for me.”

Lesson: To learn to broadcast the love I have for another by telling them every single day that I love them.


But at the end of the day, despite being stung many, many times over by the very same thing that I yearn from another man, I find myself being drawn to the sickening and giddy cusps of love all over again. I want to love another man right from scratch and build a solid-armored love that will last us a lifetime but at the same time, I feel my heartstrings tugging me from a distance as I recall those days when my heart was hurting at its peak. I want to love yet I worry he will end up hurting me like the last one. Although I learn to pick myself up again each time I fall out of love, I feel that my tolerance level for a man; winding up uglier than the last one, goes down a notch. Now that is scary ‘cos as much as I want to love, I can’t seem to figure out anyone who is compatible enough for me to love. In other words, The One has yet to arrive at my door and each and every single guy that comes by my life gives me a fraction piece of The One that I yearn to spend the rest of my life with.

Maybe, just maybe, I am destined to love furry creatures instead of actual beings. At least loving animals doesn’t hurt as although they don’t guarantee you a lifetime of happiness, at least they do devote you with the sheer amount of love that no human can ever surpass.




My eldest brother decided to surprise me with the huge-st of surprises yesterday. Fresh from the totally traumatic time of burying Joby, he decided to “gift” me with a pair of hamsters, plus a new smaller house for one of the hamsters and the hamster shavings as hamster’s bedding.

Given another situation whereby I get a pair of hamsters the way I want to and so forth, I will definitely be happy. But to say that I am overjoyed at the prospects of overcoming the grieve by having the addition of these two identical Winter Whites does not apply here.

  1. I do not condone the buying of pets. Tell me what does it feel like if you find out that you were bought out of a family for a nominal fee? I prefer adoption.
  2. A pet is not meant to be bought or sold; no two animals have the universal DNA that will make them appeal to all humans. They all have their  ideal owners and I always believe the pet chooses the owner and not the owner chooses the pet.
  3. I am barely on the stage of recovering from the grieving and here I am stuck to take care of two hamsters who do not even have a specific birthdate. Good Lord, how am I supposed to know when are their 1st year birthdays?
  4. At least give me like a few days / hours or minutes to get over the loss of Joby! Gosh, it feels as though I treat Joby like some disposable and replaceable being that is forgotten immediately after he passes on. I know he is just an animal but at least, consider his feelings granted if you were in his shoes.
  5. I did not intend to keep another hamster, what more two? I actually had the intention to give away the cage and buy a new home for a guinea pig. At least they live longer and are large enough to be allowed to roam freely or better still, sleep on the same bed as me the way a dog / cat does.

Listed above are just 5 out of the million reasons why I oppose the purchase of the two hamsters. On top of that, my brother who has zero basic knowledge of hamsters was ripped off by the petshop owner; he got the pair for $40! OMG, I can easily get 4 of the same breed from Pet Lovers’ Centre with that price!

Sometimes turning adult is good. However, its times like these when I wish people will take note of my point of view as ultimately, I am the one caring for these animals, not the buyers. Sure, you may not want to see me moping around like a lost soul but it’s a grieving process that I ought to take. Life isn’t all about a bed of roses, right? I need to expose myself to all the jazz of life as if not, I will never be life-ready should God decide to throw me a few more pitfalls in my life. I know my brother’s intention was good; he wanted me to be happy. But I wish he’d just listen to me when I said no to the prospects of keeping anymore for the short-term.

Let me grieve, keep my mind pre-occupied by work or let me do anything non-hamster related. That was all that I asked for when Joby passed away. A pet’s love is irreplaceable, no matter how many hamsters I buy or get in one lifetime, there ought to be this mutual bond that remains unbreakable even in the eyes of death. That was the kind of bond that Joby & I shared; something that will be largely missing in the puzzle between me and the two new hamsters. By the way, their names are Betty Smith & Joe Jambul. Don’t ask why, the names just flashed across my brain repeatedly and I just had to use them.

Look out for more hamster news in the coming weeks, hopefully, all goes well for them and may they adjust to their new homes soon…

Life Snuffed Out

… just like that.

Just like that he went away to be in The Almighty’s arms. Quietly, ever-so-peaceful and definitely no pain. But the fact that remains is that he is gone and I have to bear the brunt of losing something so close to me. Why does heartbreaks like this sort always happen? Why can’t things, people, animals and so forth; you know, the good things in one person’s life last forever?

 I remember my ex-boyfriend saying that nothing lasts forever unless it’s a miracle.

But then again, Joby’s presence has always been like a miracle to me everyday that I never imagined a life without him. Perhaps I grew too accustomed to having him waiting ever so patiently for me when I kick my heels after a long day at work, or when I am having lunch at home and he bites the cage to signal his intention to eat lunch with me or maybe, just maybe, I find his presence to be the closest to peace for me ever since Grams passed away.

It’s kind of hard to write out this post and obviously my WP has been left hanging for so long just because I refuse to come to terms with the fact that I am writing about my hamster which passed away yesterday morning. It felt so weird to actually hold him and instead of feeling warmth, all that I felt was a cold fur that blankets the tiny body of the Joby I once knew. He left when I was asleep in the morning, maybe he didn’t want to see me cry too much. Maybe he was contented with having me to stay up with him till 4 in the morning to watch him sleep. Maybe he was happy that on his final few hours, I cradled him in my palm and moving as little muscle as possible so that I won’t disturb his sleeping. For once, he sat real still in my arms. It felt as though he already knew his time was running out and he wanted to feel the warmth of another living being.

His death was, I hope, not a painful one as when I got up and looked at him in the morning, he looked so peaceful. So peaceful that even Mum, the “toughie” shedded tears. It felt so wrong to be digging the pot of empty land in my balcony to accommodate my hamster. Why can’t he just stay alive with me in the cage? I will promise to be an even better care-giver. I’ll do anything to get him back. After all, he was love in its purest form.

If loving someone would be as easy as loving him, I would gladly give my entire out to a man the same way I gave it to him. He taught me so much despite the “language barrier”; he squeaks while I talk. But at the end of the day, he renewed that loss of faith in love. He made me become a better person, never complaining even when I rant on and on about my bad days. Loyalty was second to none, he was a hamster with a dog’s characteristics. Or maybe, that’s just a universal animal trait. After all, loyalty is such a rarity in humans that people like me – who have given up on a monogamous relationship with a man – have resorted to seeking love and companionship in an furry friend.

I will miss you Joby, always.


A fact that you should know, I am writing this post exactly one month after Joby passed away. Today is February 24th 2010 and it has taken me that long to write out this post. It also brings to show how much I still am pining for Joby to be back in the same cage just like when he used to. One month on and I still am sad just thinking about the day he went away. My tears still flows freely without much resistance from my eyes, a testament to the statement that I am still in the grieving stage. But life goes on; easier said than done though.


 I think I have grown more drawn to staying home and doing my own things as compared to heading out to hang out till the late nights. As strange as it may seem, I feel myself veering towards spending my time with just the selected, treasured few as opposed to the newly-found friends as WOW & McDonald’s.

Lord, I think I am the only 21 year old who doesn’t club, has stopped drinking and is the most contented when she’s home tending to her gardens, playing with her hamster or just blog-shopping. I have evolved into a Plain Jane and I love the entrance into a more peaceful and solitude kind of life.

I think I just need yoga to make me complete now. Or perhaps, that much dreamed about class at Jitterbugs to unleash the inner Shakira in me, heh.


Have a Peaceful Day Everyone!


I feel horrible to be subjecting Joby to the daily injections to his puny and dishevelled body. Lord, please have mercy on his soul. Joby, I am really sorry to be the one human that you prolly hate the most at this very tiring time. Please, feel better soon okaye.

Two injections down, another two more to go.

The Day I Nearly Died

It was meant to be an uneventful Off day.

A much-needed rest after the past week of happenings at work.

But the Lord Almighty decided to change my plans and have me to wake up with my dearest hamster in a semi-comatose state that I nearly died.

The whole ordeal today is indescribable in words but I do know that as much as I deny it, Joby’s life is ebbing away at every milli-second that goes by.


Lord, please make him feel better soon. I wish that there was something that I can do to help him get better soon. It’s times like these that I feel absurdly helpless that I wish I was granted some powers from God to hep heal the sick loved ones in my life.



An Eventful Day

Today is an eventful day in a bad way. Quite rarely do these things actually happen to me but then again, what’s life without the shenanigans of the roller-coaster rides right? But anyway, two bad things had happened today and I am sad beyond consolation.

At work, two of my crew were caught giving & receiving free food in full view of my eyes. Considering the fact that I am a relatively new Manager, one of the crew decided to test waters by asking me for a free Filet-O-Fish. I honestly don’t know what he was actually thinking when he blatantly asked me for that but I sure feel fearful as I am in such a tight spot that any flaws that I do present to my crew will be subjected to the numerous scandalous and vicious rumors circulating in the crew room. It’s amazing how the word travels so fast and the worst part of it is, the actual truth has been altered to a rumor-monger’s choice of words and most of the accusations thrown across the board are largely false and are an exagerration of the actual story itself.

Lord, I didn’t know old grandmothers at work could be so darn bitchy.

At home, Joby Tiger Jo is sick and the last thing that I want is to face up to another sad situation when I kick my shoes after knocking off work. He’s never been sick all throughout his 1 year, 6 months and 6 days of his life and I am very worried. Considering his age, I believe he is way past his prime and now is technically his golden / senior citizen age. I pray hard that things get better with him as I don’t foresee a good outcome out of it.

Lord, sometimes I hate my gut feelings. Please tell me that my gut feeling is wrong.


All that I seek for now is a time-travelling element which can help me correct things in the past and alter the bad things in the future. It’s times like these that I wish Wawa was around to pat my head and let me fall asleep on her lap.


16 Months of Bliss!

It is with much happiness that I reveal to you the reason for all my joys and laughter.

It is even greater news that I tell you that it is his birthday today.

16 months of sheer happiness together.

I am so thankful to The Almighty for bestowing me with this very precious gift.

For that, I wish him an abundance of happiness, good health and many happy days together till we both grow old.

I have attached his picture but you will have to scroll down to see The One!











Oh gosh, it’s scary to reveal this to the world man!

















(read: GOTCHA!)

Here is the love of my life on his wonderful birthday, today:

The One :]

Yup! That’s my baby Jojo Tiger all fat, cute and chubby; all grown up on his 16th Month Birthday! Tell me, how can he not  be The One when he looks as adorable like that?

I am smitten for life!


Three’s A Crowd

Someone at work asked me today whether I like this current job that I am in with Wow and most definitely, I will reply enthusiastically with a gung-ho “Yes” with all the exclamation marks possible. I also let slip that it makes me excited just knowing that in a few hours’ time, I will be going to a workplace that I love and meeting wonderful new people who are eager to have a great time and I am so darn eager to work that I literally burst out of the bed and home (no, not both at the same time – I eat breakfast religiously & obviously bath everyday) all raring to get to work.

She was surprised at the very least, in fact, she was bemused to know that I react that way. She said she was like me, she liked the job but after 1 1/2 years on the job, she found it so-so and I can tell you, it’s obvious in her attitude at work. I am not one to critique but it’s sad to know that after it all, it’s the money that mattered more to her and not the passion for the job. I don’t know man, I am not one to be driven by money as heck, this job barely covers the necessary meal for the day and maybe a bonus buy at the end of the month but even if my pay was to witness an increment, it will only be secondary to me. That is prolly due to the fact that I have cultivated this passion over money since I was younger (all thanks to Mama & Papa) that money really doesn’t matter to me at all.

Then again, it’s not the money that matters to me the most. What matters is if my clients had a good time with us, that’s more than enough to cover the measly pay we get day in, day out. Money talks and I am very blessed to not need to worry about it coming in through part-time work as I basically live in a simple lifestyle with the random buys but that doesn’t mean I’m not thankful. In fact I always am and I sincerely hope I won’t end up being in her shoes one day. It sounds like I’m the rabbit waiting for the carrot as a lucrative bait; that sounds just pathetic.

To serve others, you need an others-before-self attitude and money falls behind self. But how many of us are doing our jobs for the passion and not for the greens that come in on a monthly basis?

Now that’s the thought for the day 🙂




It seems to me that the men at my workplace find it rather crazy when I said that I walked approximately 2.3km from Kembangan MRT station to East Coast Park as the latter was the place that I was based at today. I mean seriously, what’s so wrong with walking such a long distance when you get to work on your cardiovascular system, breath healthy air with the trees and shrubs surrounding you, see newly erected buildings and be tuned into your favorite radio station? I understand the weather is hot & humid but still?

Tsk tsk, people these days always want the easy way in everything that they fail to see the beauty of watching the world go by at a slower pace.




Kids these days are a disgrace to us older folk (wait, I am not that old but I’m sure you get what I mean here). I was on my way back home when I saw two young fellas prolly about 8 or 9 years old chasing after a cat. Well, no harm done there. I saw one of the boys holding on to a packet of food and I was thinking they were just trying to feed the stray cat something. However, something about their body language told me something was amiss hence I decided to stop and watch them from a distance and lo behold, what happened after that left me astounded…











… one of the boys was chasing the cat and was attempting to throw a bagful of stones at that poor cat!



Of course I went berserk and confronted the boys but they had this nonchalant attitude that was utterly shocking! It was like one shocking this after another. Can you imagine how morally detrimental kids these days are? And for Pete’s sake, they were like only 8! If those kids were my kids, I will trash them left, right and centre and I will throw stones at him to so that he knows what it feels like to be in that cat’s shoes / paws. And no, I am not kidding you. I was irated beyond words and my hand was this close to landing on that boy’s cheeks. Yes, if I was a mother, I would definitely be the one to pick up the cane and discipline the kids if I see them behaving in such an unjust and cruel manner.

These two kids are going to be animal bullies when they grow up, that’s got to change or else society will be a bitterly sad place to live in and us humans will think we are superior than our creature friends. They’ve got a heart and are not devoid of feelings despite the communication barrier we have between us but that doesn’t warrant us the right to throw stones, abuse them or ridicule them whatsoever.

I believe in karma and I hope God will teach these boys a very important and deserving lesson someday. This situation has made me cherish Jojo Tiger more and feel even more sorry than ever for the animals who have fallen prey to animal abuse.


The 40th Day

Today is Gram’s 40th day and I won’t be home as the kenduri will be held at my late granny’s late god-son’s place (does that even make sense? Oh well). I foresee alot, alot of people there as my late grand-uncle was a pious and well-respected man when he was alive and I don’t know what I am to think or feel for now. I do know I can’t wait till parents leave for KL so that I can concentrate fully on my full-time job hunt without the occasional calls to do the random chores. Forty days ago, Gram’s went home to be with the Lord and I was shaken beyond my wildest imaginations. Forty days later, I feel much lighter, as though the burden has been lifted off me and I am looking forward to better days ahead.

Keep her in your prayers everyone.

And coincidentally, today is Jojo Tiger’s 1 year 3rd month birthday. My lazy ball is very much not in a mood to celebrate either. He has been sleeping alot this afternoon and looks pretty nonchalant when I sang him the birthday song just now. Or maybe he is just bored or having mood swings. My oh my, he’s getting old. I can actually see his grey fur peaking in between his brown-black fur.

Jojo Tiger Love Love Love :]

I do wonder what he is thinking about sometimes when he stones and look afar like that. Cute isn’t he? His whiskers are growing real long, it’s absolutely adorable when you see him “combing” it. Also, Mum has ordered that I stop feeding him too much human food as she said he has a double chin already and he looks uber fat. See he will wait patiently at the cage door every lunch and dinner time and even goes to the extend of entertaining me with his trick-of-the-day just so to earn an extra bite of the fish fillet I have in my hands.

How can I ever stop feeding him like that?


Happy 15th Month Birthday Jojo Tiger Love!
I love you truckloads!



Foreseeable Future

I have too many things up, and too little time. How on Earth can I find a full-time job now when my schedule is major-packed with activities, part-time work, training, meet-ups with the lovelies, shopping, and so forth?

Sometimes 24 hours isn’t really enough.

But that keeps me going. The thought that I am cramming as many things into my daily events makes me feel as though every single second is spent not thing about sad or unhappy things and that’s good.

Life is good, thanks be to God.

Now that my weekends will be jam packed with WOW, I can’t imagine what will happen to my weekly dates with the two BFFs who have Saturday and Sunday all to themselves. Heh, time to start sharing the time with everyone else yeah Hobibelanja and Muzzy-Wuzzy?

Also, Martian, Hobibelanja and Muzzy-Wuzzy remembered my training date and wished me; that’s real heart-warming to know. God, I feel so, so loved – I am real lucky.

I feel eternally blessed to have wonderful and supportive friends at any point of time.

As much as I have kinda lost a friend along the way, memories with her will always be cherished and remembered as she was there during my darkest days. Not as though she passed away, more like our friendship has been said and done and there is nothing left to pick up from where it all first disintegrated but that’s okaye, I’m positive and believe it is for the better of us.

JY, thank you for sharing a friendship with me and I am sorry things had to end between us.

Mum, Dad and brother is heading up to KL for a wedding and holiday. It will definitely be a big break for them since they’ve not stopped working since gram’s passing. I’m sure it will be well worth it. I’m sorry I am not tagging along but I reckon the “all-expenses-paid-for” tag never did tickle my fancy; after all, I am a mature adult and I don’t see a reason why I should constantly depend on family to support my spendings. Plus, how can I possibly leave my lovely sweetheart of a furry love, Jojo Tiger all alone at home? If there’s a fire, I’m sure he’s the first I will pick up in my room alongside Mimi; nothing else matters more to me than those two furballs.

Maybe one day, the five of us, plus the nephewie can head abroad and have our very first holiday together after so long – I’ll try to fulfill that dream.

It feels immensely exciting to know that I am employed, albeit on the weekends and certain Thursdays and Fridays of the month. At least I know I don’t have to worry about a quicksand kind of income and I know I am back on track to save up for my degree in the near future.

Things are looking up, I know it will only get better.

I have been on a strict dinner regime and I am resuming my exercising activities like tanning (Hee 🙂 ), badminton and so forth to equip me with a better immune system to run after kids etc during work days. Hopefully, I’ll get to learn cycling and do more intensive sports to keep me at my fittest.

I feel so much healthier than before and the best of all, I am happy 🙂

Gram’s 40th day is coming up next Tuesday, October 6th 2009 and the house is abuzz with plans for the day and combining the kenduri with that of her god-son who passed away a day before her.

I still feel her around sometimes, especially when I am alone in the house but her voices seems to get faint by the days; perhaps it’s about time.

Don’t you wish that at certain aspects of your life, you can fast-forward it so that you know what happens in the future? I always hope for that all the time and at the same time, an option to rewind and correct past mistakes and also the opportunity to meet certain people whom you’ve heard numerous great stories about yet never was lucky enough to meet them.

 Two of them are male figures in my ancestry lineage; my maternal grandfather and my paternal great-grandfather. MG to decipher what it was like to be in his shoes and see his grandchild be the subject of a tug-of-war for years between two families related by blood. PGG to see the world through the eyes of a 143 year old; well at least, that was what my late Wawa used to say about how old her father was. It prolly will be cool to say, “Great-grandpa, what was it like to live a hundred years ago as compared to now?” That would make a great show-&-tell in primary school.


I’m kind of random today, perhaps my brain just wanted to pen down certain things in no particular order. Wishing you a wonderful day ahead, carpe diem everyone!


Two Week’s Notice

It has been two weeks everyone. Two weeks since I cried, two weeks since I lost a loved one, two weeks since the chaotic 75 hours surviving on barely 2 hours of sleep, two weeks since I cried at Ion Orchard, two weeks since I slept with a dead body in the house, two weeks since I felt the greatest heartbreak ever felt beyond words could ever say and two weeks since I crawled into bed and hoped she will just come back knocking on the door.

How have I been?

I have been well. More like, I am feeling 1849525 times better than two weeks ago. If you had posed me the same question two weeks ago, I would have prolly just shrugged my shoulders and say, “I’m barely making it through.” But fast forward two weeks later, I would be proud to say that I am in a better shape now and it’s all because of the wonderful family,

My Most Cherished Family

fantastic friends,




the sweetest furry friend,

Jojo Tiger Love

and the luxury of time to mourn and also move on with my life.

Thanks to everyone who has been there, still is there and will always be there. I owe you my life for being one huge slingshot to catapult me away from my sorrow and straight into the realm of a better tomorrow.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And last but definitely not the least, thanks be to God for he is the Most Loving, Most Understanding and Most Gracious.

I’ve sticked to my prayers since two weeks ago and it sure is one solace I seek each time I wake up in the morning.



Officially dead tired from the back-to-back outings since Friday but I have two more dawn to dusk plans till Monday and the cycle will repeat itself or get worse with meet-up with the favorite cousins for breaking fast and so many birthdays are coming up in September – October. Plus, Mooncake Festival, Eid and Christmas are coming up fast and furiously!


The things which are making me tired are all well-worth it since I will be spending days and nights with the people who matter the most to me. Also, numerous surprises are lined up for the BFFs. Why all the hush-hush and secret surprises?

Because they are worth it, really.


I see my bank account dwindling faster than the saving cycle I have been religiously doing the past three odd months. I should just declare myself broke / bankrupt to escape the gift-giving, heh. Anyone keen on contributing to the Save The ãdventurist Foundation? I will be more than willing to do work for you so long as it is legal, morally-right, provides accommodating working hours (since I have a baby hamster to take care of round the clock) and environmentally sound. Also, I need to set up another foundation to ban me from doing online shopping. I have accumulated enough purchases online to get at least another thirty good novels from the flea markets or add up to 1/8 of the price of a dream G10 or 10 pedicure sessions with Peggy or a full red color hair-coloring session plus three color highlights.


On another note: In my opinion, there can only be one spendthrift and one thrifty person in a relationship. We can’t ever have two of the same characters in one relationship as if both partners are spendthrift, they will end up broke together and will have bad credit to both names. If both are thrifty, they will end up bickering about who has the cheapest item to purchase in the house and will end up not buying anything at all! Hence, in a relationship, kindly allow me to be the spender as I am a girl and I shop; shopping is associated with women, not men and a woman can never have enough top / bottom / shoe / bag / earring / ring / belt / book / magazine and so forth.


I am feeling much, much better now loves, thank you for all your care and concern.

Lap Cats & Then Some





Despite taking care of five (four of them pictured above) entirely different breeds of cats, I haven’t been lucky enough to snag a lap cat. Oh yes, I always dream of keeping a lap cat. The kind of cat which jumps and sits on your lap when you are in a sitting position anywhere around the house, tags along wherever you go to in the house and sleeps on the same bed with you.

Today, I managed to find an adorable lap cat; all in the (un)comforts of the lift lobby of my block. This adorable tabby which I have been seeing for recent months (hey, that sentence sounds as though I am dating the cat – erm, okaye now) is a very tame cat that I can’t help but put her on my lap while I was chattering with the favourite boyfriend. Much to my amusement, after being contented from the constant brushing of her fur etc, this tabby decided that my lap was a comfy place to sleep!

Oh my Lord.

It took me awhile to wake her up and she wasn’t happy at all and was sulking when I got off my seat, cuddled her like a baby and put her on the seat I was sitting on. I swear I would have brought her home should I not have a pet hamster you know? Sigh sigh. Sometimes I do wonder where does my affinity for cats come from since my family history does not have any inkling with keeping cats as pets.

Someone mentioned that I am a “warm” person from the way I was talking to the cat and how I tend to talk to every single animal that crosses my path. Hurhur, I don’t think I am that “warm” because I suspect I may be anaemic.