“In life, when you have to make a choice between the one who loves you and the one you love, choose the one who loves you because you cannot teach a person to love you, but you can always love back the person who pours immense love over you.”
Love; it’s a four-letter cruel word with such in-depth and non-generic meaning. Consider this, the love dogs have been biting my ass off for as long as I ever remembered & I’ve yet to see the love blossoming between me and a significant other and having that love translate into something majestic like a happily ever after. Maybe love isn’t my cup of tea, yet. Or maybe love is just meant to be cherished in those good old fairytale books that I cherished since I was 4.
At the age of 11, I would like to blame my introvert nature for not allowing me to muster the courage to the classmate whom I had a crush on for 2 years.
Lesson: To learn not to be too shy.
At the age of 14, I would like to blame my naivety when my first crush packed his bags for Australia and having that love never being realised even till now.
Lesson: To learn not to be too blinded.
At the age of 16, I would like to blame my eagerness to be in love that results in me engaging in a long-distanced relationship that was filled with plenty of ups and downs.
Lesson: To learn never to rush into love.
At the age of 20, I would like to blame my immaturity for giving up three years of my life for a person who took away my dreams & aspirations alongside my bank account money.
Lesson: To learn not to trust others too easily.
At age of 21, I would like to blame my stupidity for letting another person trample all over my feelings when he said, “I don’t feel your love for me.”
Lesson: To learn to broadcast the love I have for another by telling them every single day that I love them.
But at the end of the day, despite being stung many, many times over by the very same thing that I yearn from another man, I find myself being drawn to the sickening and giddy cusps of love all over again. I want to love another man right from scratch and build a solid-armored love that will last us a lifetime but at the same time, I feel my heartstrings tugging me from a distance as I recall those days when my heart was hurting at its peak. I want to love yet I worry he will end up hurting me like the last one. Although I learn to pick myself up again each time I fall out of love, I feel that my tolerance level for a man; winding up uglier than the last one, goes down a notch. Now that is scary ‘cos as much as I want to love, I can’t seem to figure out anyone who is compatible enough for me to love. In other words, The One has yet to arrive at my door and each and every single guy that comes by my life gives me a fraction piece of The One that I yearn to spend the rest of my life with.
Maybe, just maybe, I am destined to love furry creatures instead of actual beings. At least loving animals doesn’t hurt as although they don’t guarantee you a lifetime of happiness, at least they do devote you with the sheer amount of love that no human can ever surpass.