Quality.

Quality Time

I am not one who desires to be lavished with fancy gifts but I am thankful to be able to have a night out of our busy schedules to see each other, appreciate each other and update each other on the random interesting notes of our day jobs. 

For that thank you dear.

Thank you for understanding that what I value the most a a well-spent time with you with no phones or whatnots distracting us.

I love you more than words can ever say.

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WEEK 3: Self Love & Worthiness

Day 15!

Woohoo, Day 15! One more week to go. How are you doing? How’s the course been for you so far? Hit reply and let me know what’s going on for you, if you have any questions, experiences you’d like to share etc.

It’s been a powerful, introspective week so let’s cap it off with doing something special. This is your invitation to pamper, spoil, or treat yourself!

Today, start a happy jar. On little pieces of paper, write down a bunch of stuff that you love to do and makes you happy. Every week, take a piece of paper out and do what it says!

If you make this a regular practice, you’ll be way happier, more energised, and your Inner Sparkle will twinkle like lights in your eyes 🙂 A previous participant got her entire family making up happy jar slips ~ the kids loved it!

Go on, be good to yourself. You DESERVE it!

Wishes Jar

I am going to start listing down my jars all this week. Let’s see what happens!

🙂

Character

Manners

I am a strong believer in good manners. Regardless of how rich or how poor you are, I believe that the single best asset anyone can own is to be a genuinely nice human being. I see the dismal characters walking down the streets and I am grossly disappointed. What is so hard about saying please and thank you? And also, to add a little smile; even if it is a tight smile, would make a lot of difference to the conversation.

I am one who loves to smile and strike conversations with strangers on the street but I completely abhor rudeness and the lack of smiles on the face of others. I wish people will make the world a better place by smiling more often instead of scowling or frowning when asking for help or directing a query. What is even more sad is when you see the younger generation with appalling manners and I can only imagine how rude the world will be when our kids grow up.

😦

Truly, there are so many reasons to smile and a smile generates a positive image on oneself and as a reflection on others. It is a domino effect; you smile to a stranger and they return that smile and aside from a smile back, you get that warm surge of happiness gravitating within you. Even if it lasts for a mere five seconds.

Trust me, it’s all worth it.

Manners 2

ENFJ in General.

ENFJs are natural-born leaders, full of passion and charisma. Forming around two percent of the population, they are oftentimes our politicians, our coaches and our teachers, reaching out and inspiring others to achieve and to do good in the world. With a natural confidence that begets influence, ENFJs take a great deal of pride and joy in guiding others to work together to improve themselves and their community.

People are drawn to strong personalities, and ENFJs radiate authenticity, concern and altruism, unafraid to stand up and speak when they feel something needs to be said. They find it natural and easy to communicate with others, especially in person, and their Intuitive (N) trait helps ENFJs to reach every mind, be it through facts and logic or raw emotion. ENFJs easily see people’s motivations and seemingly disconnected events, and are able to bring these ideas together and communicate them as a common goal with an eloquence that is nothing short of mesmerizing.

The interest ENFJs have in others is genuine, almost to a fault – when they believe in someone, they can become too involved in the other person’s problems, place too much trust in them. Luckily, this trust tends to be a self-fulfilling prophesy, as ENFJs’ altruism and authenticity inspire those they care about to become better themselves. But if they aren’t careful, they can overextend their optimism, sometimes pushing others further than they’re ready or willing to go.

Everything you do right now ripples outward and affects everyone. Your posture can shine your heart or transmit anxiety. Your breath can radiate love or muddy the room in depression. Your glance can awaken joy. Your words can inspire freedom. Your every act can open hearts and minds.

David Deida

 

ENFJs are vulnerable to another snare as well: they have a tremendous capacity for reflecting on and analyzing their own feelings, but if they get too caught up in another person’s plight, they can develop a sort of emotional hypochondria, seeing other people’s problems in themselves, trying to fix something in themselves that isn’t wrong. If the ENFJ gets to a point where they are held back by limitations someone else is experiencing, it can hinder their ability to see past the dilemma and be of any help at all. When this happens, it’s important for ENFJs to pull back and use that self-reflection to distinguish between what they really feel, and what is a separate issue that needs to be looked at from another perspective.

ENFJs are genuine, caring people who talk the talk and walk the walk, and nothing makes them happier than leading the charge, uniting and motivating their team with infectious enthusiasm. ENFJs are passionate altruists, sometimes even to a fault, and they are unlikely to be afraid to take the slings and arrows while standing up for the people and ideas they believe in. It is no wonder that many famous ENFJs are US Presidents – this personality type wants to lead the way to a brighter future, whether it’s by leading a nation to prosperity, or leading their little league softball team to a hard-fought victory.

Most typical ENFJ careers share one key attribute—they focus on making other people happy. ENFJs are usually very warm, sociable, and altruistic, and they have many viable choices when it comes to choosing the career that is best for them. We will list some of the most common roles below, but please feel free to drop us a message if you have any comments or ideas.

Let us start examining ENFJ career choices by stating the somewhat obvious fact that ENFJs are sincerely interested in other people and try to do their best to help them. On top of this, people with the ENFJ personality type tend to have extraordinary social and networking skills—it is quite common for an ENFJ to be “that person who knows everybody.” ENFJs truly shine in customer-relations careers or roles where they need to be dealing with other people on a daily basis. They can be brilliant sales representatives, advertising consultants, or HR administrators.

Next, ENFJs are usually quite sensitive and even somewhat idealistic. This is a double-edged sword, as the same sensitivity draws ENFJs toward careers that reward high emotional intelligence; on the other hand, ENFJs are very vulnerable to criticism and should stay away from stressful careers. Some of the ENFJ careers to avoid include finance (especially stock trading), law enforcement, corporate management, emergency personnel, medicine, and the military.

People with this personality type are also really creative, organized, and honest. This makes them excellent psychologists, event coordinators, or politicians. (There are some honest politicians in the world!) Also, one of the best ENFJ careers can be found in writing; however, ENFJs tend to approach this from a journalistic rather than book-writing perspective as such a career allows them to leverage their people skills.

Finally, ENFJs love new challenges and the thrill they get from helping other people. Consequently, many ENFJs are found in “altruistic” careers, e.g., social or religious work, teaching, or counseling. However, it should also be noted that ENFJs need constant approval from other people in order to feel satisfied and happy. If this is not forthcoming, the ENFJ may burn out very quickly and move to another career path or project.

EDITOR’S NOTE: I am glad to have pursued a hobby in writing and also dabbled in event planning but the one that is giving me the most joy now is writing in WordPress! 🙂

Oz for 26th!

I have been a fervent fan of Oz stuffs for as long as I can remember but I can hardly get them shipped over due to customs’ regulations! However, I have checked these wonderful Australian brands can ship to Singapore and two of them have books available online for order. What’s not to love about Australia? I am crazy enough to try their GSD & detox tea which was created by a Naturopath who can’t be more smarter and crazy-hot than him!

(I thank the Good Lord for such wonderful souls who look so absolutely smashing that his smile is enough to make me convert to being a big-time tea lover.  He does loads of good things for everyone too!)

http://www.reececarter.com.au/

Now, any kind sponsors out there? My birthday is just round the corner!

🙂

SumT GSD

KI2

Senso

SumT Detox

KI

Useful sites to refer to are:

http://sumt.com.au/

http://www.kaylaitsines.com.au/

http://www.senso.com.au/shop

2 Ramadan 1435 Hijrah

Image

It was a morning of Ramadan that I woke up tad bit late for 8 o’clock work. I saw Mum sitting on the bed and fiddling with her phone and I asked whether she had eaten her sahur that morning. Mum shot me an absolutely blank face and asked me back.

“What sahur?”

I patiently told her that today is indeed fasting month and she needs to get up pronto to prepare food for herself and brother to eat before Subuh but again, the bewildered look was washed all over her face and she asked me again,

“What sahur? When did we sahur? It is Ramadan already?”

She got off the bed, walked to the kitchen table and then asked me again what day was it today and why are we hurrying to prepare to eat in the morning. Trust me, it all my years living with her, I have never seen her in such a blank state. I couldn’t gather my thoughts as to what exactly happened to her but I could only gathered that she needs help along the way or else she will be completely lost. I hurriedly placed all my bathing articles in the toilet and helped her in the kitchen. Mum would wash the cups half-way then stop awhile and ask me repeatedly;

“What day is it today, what is the date, how many days have we fasted and why are we fasting today?

Only the Lord knows how I managed to muster so much patience given that I was already late for work by a good half an hour. It just felt as though I felt the despair Mum felt and I can only hope that she will walk out of this blank and empty state as soon as she can. The good thing that I am thankful for was that her memory just happened to be wiped out of the events that happened yesterday. Somehow or rather, she was able to remember what happened on the day before yesterday but she wasn’t able to register the details of what happened in the later part of the day.

Somehow I knew in my deepest of hearts that something was clearly “off” about Mum but I couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

Perhaps she woke up too sudden? Perhaps she was still on her deep sleep state? Perhaps her medication was still running high on her bloodstream? Perhaps she fell while everyone else was sleeping? Perhaps she was losing her mind? Perhaps. Those questions remained unanswered and will always be.

Anything could have caused it. Anyone could’ve missed it. Maybe it was meant to be that way. The sudden loss of memory on Mum decapitated me; I felt numb on the inside. I felt as though I was on the brink of losing someone dear again. I mean, who wakes up one fine morning and forgets everything? I thought those things only happened to goldfish? In all honesty, that is what I was think will happen to me. That I will be losing my memory one fine day and forget everything. I always prayed that it happened to me and not to anyone else. Especially Mum! She looked lost. Painfully lost as though she wants to try to remember but her brain just could not function right. Something looked clearly off about her.

The most heartbreaking moment had to be when I was about to leave home for work and I told her to take care and then she cried and said,

” Dear, Ma can’t remember anything? What’s wrong? Why am I like this? What day is it today? Today is Ramadan?” Then she gritted her teeth and sobbed quietly.

Walking away from her was definitely the hardest part of my day. Despite the fact that I was being late for work, the thought of walking away from a sad Mum who remained inconsolable was harder to bear.

The whole time I was at work, I was trying to be as focused as I could but I know Mum was very close in my mind. When I got home, she looked as though she’s back to 80% in her normal state. She baffled me further when she asked me what happened in the morning as she had no recollections of it at all.

I could only smile and said,

“Nothing happened Ma, you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

I think she deserved so much more after the loss of Dad that none of us know how empty she feels inside. After the incident today, I began to see her as a person who wants to move on so badly but there’s too much memories stored in the last 35 years of her life that 1 year isn’t sufficient for her to move on but I do hope and pray that she will not give up in trying to move on well past that stage where she lost the love of her life to destiny.

I am not one to question God’s will but I know He does know that she is a strong woman who will overcome all obstacles in her and our family’s way. But I am also aware that her heart is not the same now that her love is in God’s arms and this Ramadan will be the most trying Ramadan she’ll ever have to face alone. It’ll be her first. But I do hope, with all of our support, she will pull through. Stronger than ever before. I never imagined living a life without a father at 25. But I can’t quite imagine a life devoid of a mother if she is hanging in a limbo of the past and the present.

Hope

Stay strong Mummy. It isn’t going to be easy but I am sure you will pull through; we are all rallying around you. every step of the way. Insha Allah.

WEEK 2: Intuition, Confidence, Vibe Raisers!

Zing zing! Today is Random Act of Kindness Day!

Do someone a kindness, either in secret or letting them know.

Some ideas ~ coins in a meter, a note of appreciation, pick up coffee for a friend, a sincere compliment, surprise your partner with their favourite yummies, do the dishes, smile at someone, buy 5 flowers and giving them out to anyone who looks like they could use some cheer (I once stood at a traffic light and gave out 7 roses to random little old ladies – it made their day but more than that, it made ME feel like I could do ANYTHING!).

But don’t do it for what you’ll get, do it for the sake of giving 🙂

I’d love to hear what you did and how the experience was for you! Got some catching up to do? You’ve got all Saturday and Sunday to dig in and get dirty :).

Have a FANTASTIC weekend!

Kindness

I already have two in line for the love and the colleague! I think I should implement it on a regular basis as there’s this element of surprise and satisfaction knowing that I have made someone’s day even if mine was a tad bit shabby.

🙂

WEEK 2: Intuition, Confidence, Vibe Raisers!

Day 9:

The happiest, most fulfilled and successful people in the world are guided by an inner knowing. Today, make at least one decision from your gut.

It could be as simple as deciding what to wear this morning / evening, following a sudden desire to go out for a walk, taking a different route to work, not thinking about what to eat for lunch but letting the answer pop out, blurting something that’s on your mind etc.

Don’t worry about getting it wrong, just act purely on impulse.

Share your experience / journal / reflect on it / email!

*

Regardless of how negative the incident that evolved from my initial gut feeling of having a meal at a location different from the norm, I harbor no ill- intentions nor regret toward my gut as at the end of the day, I know I wasn’t doing anything morally wrong. I will continue to trust my gut feeling regardless of how negative the result is as at least I am standing on my on two feet and isn’t reliant on others to validate me.

Afraid

My gut feeling today was to have lunch outside the compounds of my office to soak in the afternoon sunshine and I am baffled to know that my decision to have an otherwise-perfect solo lunch turned out to be a disappointment when I was asked to vacate the little spot I had on a a little concrete slab on the outskirts of the office building mainly because ” it isn’t nice for the ballroom guests to see you eating here.”

😦

Mind you, the ballroom was a good 40 metres away.

😦

Why did the comment upset me you may ask? Mainly because I have started eating a good ten minutes before I was stopped and ironically, the last few days I spotted a few foreigners sitting on the concrete slab next to me and having a meal there for many days.

😦

Maybe it was sheer bad luck that I was stopped but granted that I was in the security’s point-of-view, I would never chased a person away while he or she is having a decent meal. I mean granted that I am at the wrong place and at the wrong time, I believe being a little bit flexible would go a long way as I already promised not to eat there anymore. I wouldn’t have thought of eating there had there not be a person who has eaten at that same spot before.

😦

Such a disappointing moment as the manner the issue was solved wasn’t in its ideal manner. Worse, the hotel security guy even directed me to the wrong level to have my meal and that felt like the final nail to the coffin. I had to walk aimlessly through three levels to find a suitable spot away from the ballroom guests as ” it isn’t nice for the ballroom guests to see me eating there.”

😦

This is prove that if a properly-trained customer-oriented person is trained to handle such negative issues with a little dose of good humor, this matter wouldn’t have escalated to this extent. Although my consolation was that the fried belacan rice that I brought from home was absolutely delicious, this negative incident has definitely left a bad note at the back of my throat. Am I satisfied? No. Will I complain? No. Will I share with the ones close to me? Yes as good service (irrespective of situation) isn’t necessarily taught; it’s either you have it or you don’t. This gentleman obviously doesn’t.

😦

7 for 26!

I am always excited when my birthday is coming not because I will get presents galore (heck I am like frigging 26!) but mainly because I have more reasons and a large-enough pocket to splurge myself silly with a bagful of things. However, that isn’t to say that a little help from the ones around me to help fulfill my wishlist isn’t welcomed. Heh heh! Here’s a list of my wants but they are not arranged in order of importance. They are mostly arranged in the order of random wants that have been at the back of my mind since I turned 25 around 300 odd days ago! So happy searching for my presents and yes, surprise me!

🙂

*

261

Dot by March Jacobs

I have been captivated by the lightness of the top notes from the perfume since the days when I was wearing Katy Perry’s Purr perfume but I took a very long time to consider getting it as it was mad expensive in comparison for a 100ml bottle. The perfume contains Red Berries, Dragonfruit, Honeysuckle, Jasmine, Coconut Water, Orange Blossom, Vanilla, Driftwood, Musk and I am especially drawn to anything fruity with a light tinge of youthfulness. If Dot is too expensive, here’s the alternative:

262

Girlfriend by Justin Beiber

Ignoring the face behind the perfume, Girlfriend is a tad bit similar to Dot but wins only because it has an extra ingredient in its top note; which happens to be my favorite fruit of all time!  The top note provides an exciting splash of mandarin, blackberry, pear and strawberry. The heart (middle note) is marked as “Dream” and includes accords of pink freesia, star jasmine, apricot and orange blossom. The base is a “Kiss”, containing sensual notes of vanilla orchid, luminous musk and white amber. What’s not to love when it is my favorite fruit? 🙂

263

Kindle by Amazon

I have an undying love for books and although I love the smell of a good paperback, this e-reader is changing my perception of technology as I am seeing Kindle quite frequently among the expats who commute to work and I thought it was a brilliant piece of technology. It comes with weeks’ long worth of battery and thousands of books titles can be browsed for free or bought for a minimal sum and they can be read almost immediately! That’s like the best thing a bookworm like me can ask for to keep me company for those long commutes to work without worrying about the weight of the next book that I want to lug to work. On top of that, there’s an in-built dictionary. Enough said already!

264

Lorna Jane Gymwear!

To ensure my gym sessions not get wasted, I need these LJ wear as they have only recently began shipment to Singapore from Australia all thanks to Zalora. For now, their collection with Zalora is a tad bit limited but I know in time, they will have a greater collection. You just have to wait it out for awhile till the Singapore market gets wind of these ultra cool and motivating gymwear! A bigger budget to spend on me? Here’s an alternative:

265

Heh, mainly because their compression series are the best in the market so far and yes, best in the market means a bigger price tag! 🙂

266

Sexy seamless underthings for work use, ideally is VS.

It has come to my attention that when I was chucking out my wardrobe for one of those I-feel-like-throwing-away-rarely-used-clothes day, I have an awful stash of lacy bras and thongs but the seamless bras are close to non-existent! I have a certain weakness for all things lacy and tiny but this has proved to be a difficult thing to do considering that I wear formal clothes everyday at work. Imagine wearing a crisp white shirt and what peeks underneath is a seductive black lacy bra… Total fashion faux pas right! Oh well, work requires that I remain presentable and not trashy. After all, I am in the corporate line so this is a fabulous excuse to get me some sexy underthings!  PS: I have included the site for direct perusal!

https://www.victoriassecret.com/panties/no-lines-and-seamless

267

Geox!

It is no secret that I have the smelliest feet in the family mainly because my sweat glands are so active especially in such a humid country like Singapore. I would definitely need breathable shoes from all the walking and I am keen to try those alleviated pumps so that I can tower over the average girls in Singapore. Heh!

WEEK 2: Intuition, Confidence, Vibe Raisers!

For today’s mini task, think about something that’s been on your mind. Take a deep breath in for a count of 4, slowly breathe out for a count of 8. Do this 2 more times.

Now imagine that you just got a text from God / the Universe / your higher self (whatever works for you).

What does it say? Don’t 2nd guess or try to direct it, just let the answer come to you.

The text from ___ is a fantastic way to tune out your monkey mind and tune into the intuitive part of you that KNOWS everything. Allow it to help you and guide you!

*

I am thinking of changing my diet and lifestyle and incorporating a healthy diet in it. With Ramadhan creeping in next week, I have the intention to eat clean and live cleaner. I was greatly inspired when I was having lunch with a colleague who gyms every morning before she goes in to work. I am not the best morning person around but I like the fact that gym keeps her active and “awake” during the long hours ploughing in front of the laptop and through the endless meetings. Isn’t that so great? She’s even on Kayla’s BBG too; on Week 4 no less and I can feel the positive vibes that she has garnered from all of her morning regime!

I was contemplating  doing the Kayla Itsines work out before I resume fasting on normal workdays but that would mean that I will be up at 3am in the mornings for gym and 5am for a meal before fasting and sleeping by 8pm on weekday nights. I am not sure if I can but I feel excited just thinking about it. However, I think many detractors will think that I am going insane, heh. I think even the love and family will think I am too.

😀

WEEK 2: Intuition, Confidence, Vibe Raisers!

Day 7: 

Sometimes, no amount of affirmations or afformations work in the moment you need them. That’s when it’s time to bust out the WW_Ds (what would __ do). Yep, channel someone else, roleplay and act from that space! CUT OUT the over analysing, the exhausting mental calisthenics and get rowdy!

For example: If you’re feeling wimpy, ask yourself WHAT WOULD CHUCK NORRIS DO and just for a moment, BE him. Think like him, act like him, talk like him. When you can’t swing it alone, it’s time to get help from your imagination.

It doesn’t even have to be a person – could be a power animal (cheetah!), quality or object (serene pool), type of person (leader) etc.

Play with this this. When you’re faced with a decision today, ask “what would ____ do”.

*

When I am down, usually I will remind myself of Dad. What would he do if he were in my shoes? Usually, that’ll help me solve my doubts and questions as there are many things that I have not expected him to do but he does them anyway. For each time that I am troubled,  I always remind myself the struggles Daddy went through to raise me and also the many years he fought valiantly against cancer. Then it’ll make me miss him and remind myself  that if I want to live a life that will make him proud, I will have to do more things that I am afraid of so that I can do better for my family in the future. Amin!

Easy Life!

WEEK 1: Values and Perspectives

Day 4: Afformations (with an O instead of I)

Last night, I had a very fascinating conversation with the love. I asked him if he can envisioned me doing a secretarial position in PPHG when my concierge contract ends in October. Then he posed back at me the same question and asked if I can envision myself as a secretary. Then it got me thinking…

In all honesty, I am aware that I have a knack for planning and prioritizing but I never envisioned myself to be someone’s secretary. Don’t get me wrong, there are fabulous secretaries where I am working at who have done more than what I have done in my work experience and they mostly become secretaries mainly for the stability of a proper job after years of chasing the corporate ladder. Maybe I can do that when I am pushing 40? But for now I still envision myself being one of the leaders in a company more than playing a supportive role. Presently, I am in a simple routine office position that doesn’t require even rocket Science but after this, I know the future is so wide that I have plenty of places that I can go to and grow.

Leading a large team in IKEA, McDonald’s and AI has led me to the belief that given the right circumstances and good timing, I can get to where I envision myself to be in and be able to lead a team of subordinates. It may not be in a top management position or a steering committee of a conglomerate but I think I belief I can get “there” wherever my destiny will lead me.

Closer than Yesterday

Today, I afform to ask myself…

“Why am I so ambitious?”

WEEK 1: Values and Perspectives

Day 3:

 

1) Close your eyes and think about a peak experience in your life – when you were truly happy, feeling good, on top of the world. It could be when you were a child, a teen, an adult, doesn’t matter.

2) Now, relive the experience: What’s been happening? Where are you & what are you doing? Feeling? Who is around? What’s making you smile about this moment? Use all your senses to really immerse yourself in the experience you are remembering.

3) What is the essence or quality that you feel most? Joy? Accomplishment? Peace? Love? Freedom? Fulfillment? 

Now, with this word in mind, allow an image or symbol to come to you, that represents this feeling. Don’t worry if nothing comes to you immediately, just focus on the feeling and sensations in your body instead and make a note of them.

There are one too many experiences in my life that can be considered a peak experience. I will just relive the happiness that I felt yesterday when I was enroute to the gym. I had this surge of excitement even though I was lacking sleep from the night before from all the excitement of the World Cup.

Sometimes it’s really funny how one can actual find the happiness in the simplest of  ideas and I guess it had been a long time coming since I was so happy to be able to gym on a beautiful Sunday even though it was raining particularly heavy when I was enroute gym. I even had this sentenced muttered when I was walking to the gym,

“Rain all you want God, all the rain isn’t going to stop me from going to the gym!” 🙂

Gym

Upon reaching the gym, I was in ultra high spirits! I greeted everyone in the gym like the usual gym-rats and also strike a long conversation with the gym receptionist! When I was beginning my workouts, I had the bubbliness and a smile that was infectious! I couldn’t stop smiling as I was truly happy to my core knowing that I made the effort to go to the gym even when it was a Sunday and I am taking small but necessary steps to nourish my body better than before I started gym awhile back! Maybe that is how it was like to be radiating happiness but I totally love it!

Happiness; in its totality was what I felt. The sensation that I feel? It felt as though I was basking in a ray of sunshine. I felt warm and fuzzy inside as though I was experiencing the first sight of my love. As what my mantra is now, good vibes good vibes!

🙂

Father.

In a way the writer in the article below is “relatable” given the similarities in the way we grow up and how we are spending this year’s Father’s Day without our old man celebrating with us as they are busy lapping up the good stuff in Heaven. truthfully-speaking, her experiences strike a cord with me given that both our late fathers are thrifty and the wisest people on Earth.

https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140612141140-176887622-father-s-day-financial-advice?fromEmail=fromEmail&trk=eml-ced-b-art-M-2-9099547925662416795&midToken=AQGtR8mnjcNLQQ&ut=1zsusQ07jQNmg1

Reading her article makes me miss Papa a fair bit but I know Papa is doing  just fine in Heaven with all his favorite people around. Even the 3 Bujang Lapok bachelors (if you are acutely aware of old-Malaya actors from Jalan Ampas) are in Heaven too so, Heaven is definitely a fun place to be in now.

Bujang Lapok

Missing you always Papa, take care and lots of love from your baby girl.

XX

A Grim Reminder

This question & answer post initially was meant to be posted in 2011 but I never went around writing it.

Question: What’s it take to put a ring around my finger in this lifetime?

Answer: A whole lot of guts, thick-skinned belief & the promise of a lifetime of love, laughter & happiness.

🙂

Today, I was doing a google search of my ex-SHATEC lecturer whom I heard had passed away recently and I winded up chancing upon an ex-boyfriend who turned up on the same search. Turns out he was getting married to the girl that he hooked up with after our relationship crumbled. He ended up on the Google search as apparently the girl and him are getting their pre-wedding video done in the school. Did they even dated during the duration of our tertiary education? Funny that they had that video taken as during the course of the time that I was in school, he was dating me and we were together for the entire 3 years of my studies while he graduated after the 2nd year so how was it possible that SHATEC was where their love blossomed? I felt cheated then, I still feel the same now.

Somehow or rather, seeing his photo with the girl was like opening back an old wound. Forgive me for doing that but I didn’t expect that I would chance upon him while searching for “Christopher Loh”. In all honesty, I do not harbor any hard feelings for him and I sincerely wish him well. It is just the thought of seeing him in a photo shook me down to my core as after all, he was in that part of my life that was too painful to remember yet important to remember so as not to go down the same road again.

I sincerely wish you happiness Muhammad ‘Izzat bin Said in your upcoming nuptials. I never crossed paths with you ever since and I don’t hope for that day I ever will. I prefer that you remain hidden deep in my past as a grim reminder of what love can do to a person if the person is too in love with someone else.

I am thankful and blessed that the one I am with is in no way the same as you. I am thankful that when I left you, the One that was meant for me came into my life was the Heaven I was searching for; syukran for that. Alhamdulillah!