WEEK 3: Self Love & Worthiness

Day 15!

Woohoo, Day 15! One more week to go. How are you doing? How’s the course been for you so far? Hit reply and let me know what’s going on for you, if you have any questions, experiences you’d like to share etc.

It’s been a powerful, introspective week so let’s cap it off with doing something special. This is your invitation to pamper, spoil, or treat yourself!

Today, start a happy jar. On little pieces of paper, write down a bunch of stuff that you love to do and makes you happy. Every week, take a piece of paper out and do what it says!

If you make this a regular practice, you’ll be way happier, more energised, and your Inner Sparkle will twinkle like lights in your eyes 🙂 A previous participant got her entire family making up happy jar slips ~ the kids loved it!

Go on, be good to yourself. You DESERVE it!

Wishes Jar

I am going to start listing down my jars all this week. Let’s see what happens!

🙂

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WEEK 3: Self Love & Worthiness

Day 13:

What are 3 of your “victories” or successes in life? 

We often look at how far we have to go, and forget to see how far we’ve come.

Take this day to remember all the times you kicked a** and took names, acknowledge yourself for them, and resolve to toot your horn a little more.

You truly are a powerful, creative person, capable of creating any reality you want!

So … let’s hear it!

 Sweet Victory

VICTORY #1: Walking away from a physically demeaning relationship with a long-term ex-boyfriend. It had to be the hardest but boldest step I have ever taken to consider walking away from that relationship as on the plus point, he had such a lovely family to boot and such luxurious lifestyle that I can only imagine. But over the course of the relationship, I began to realize that all that luxury did not fulfill my idea of happiness so I walked away. Best decision I have ever made in my life. EVER. 🙂

VICTORY #2: Winning the SHATEC Scholarship beating out 40 others and maintaining my GPA above 3.3 till I completed my diploma studies. It was a big victory as I managed to make myself proud as I proved my mettle against the detractors who think I couldn’t make it. Yes, my chosen path isn’t a bed of roses BUT it couldn’t have been more exciting than this. I chose a path away from the norm and caved out a career in a quick-serving corporation and that brought me endless opportunities to grow and evolve into a greater person than before. 🙂

VICTORY #3: Being financially-independent since 15. It wasn’t an easy feat considering that I made that decision hastily on my 15th birthday but a decade on, I never gave up on trying to prove to myself and those around me that I am capable to bring in the moolah even when the circumstances are against me. At an age when other kids are busily spending their pocket money on country flag erasers and whatnots, I was busy saving up to have a fat bank account to the extent that Mum used to call me stingy as I don’t mind others forking out cash for me instead of me forking it out for myself. Haha! I am proud of myself for being that stubborn to want to show myself and my family what I am capable of AND still be happy to give more to others where necessary. 🙂

I know I can achieve more, so long as I set my mind to it.
You just have to wait and see.
🙂

WEEK 3: Self Love & Worthiness

Day 12:

Two words: SELF LOVE.

We all have highly experienced inner meaniepants aka internal critics and saboteurs, but don’t practice loving ourselves enough. Self love is the cornerstone to a life that works and works well!

Today, list 10 things (yes, TEN) you love/like/appreciate about you. Stand in front of a mirror and say them, write them down, tell a friend, email me, or get creative with the prompt any which way you want.

It’s time you saw yourself as others see you, sparklepants! As the gorgeous, amazing, talented, creative, loving, compassionate and authentic person that you are.

xo, Tia

Carrie Says

10 Things I love /  like / appreciate about ME:

  1. I love how large my eyes are  and how seductive my mole sits on the outer rim of my eyes.
  2. I love how sexy the nape of my neck is and how the curve form right down to my hips.
  3. I love the fact that I have a generous set of hips which means I should hope for more kids! 🙂
  4. I love my fiercely independent nature of my being that won’t answer to any other man except for my parents.
  5. I love that I am financially independent and can have enough funds for my foreseeable future and family.
  6. I love that I can make others smile just by my warm smile and friendly persona.
  7. I love that I do not have Facebook so as to maintain that aura of mystery within me.
  8. I love that I am highly protective of my circle of family and friends and I don’t let naysayers affect any of them.
  9. I love that I have great ambitions to spur me further into the future; it’s just about getting the timing right!
  10. I love that streak of adventure within me that isn’t dampened by the forces of circumstances; I am willing to work hard for it so as to ensure a better life for myself and my family.

🙂

PS: I can actually do more than 10 if I was given the choice! Teehee.

WEEK 3: Self Love & Worthiness

Day 11:

Forgiveness. It’s time to start forgiving yourself for mistakes you’ve made, ‘wrong’ decisions you’ve taken and ‘right’ ones you haven’t. If you want to be happy and more energetic, you’ve got to DUMP the baggage you’re carrying around!

Lighten the load on your back, neck, shoulders and heart as you let go of anything that’s not serving you. It doesn’t belong in your bright, gorgeous, happy and fulfilling life 🙂

What will you forgive yourself for and move on from today? 

Be gentle with yourself – this is NOT an invitation to beat yourself up, it’s an invitation to free yourself. Confidence comes from seeing mistakes and failures as a part of life, and not making them mean something negative about *you* as a person.

I’m excited to see what you’re saying goodbye to so please do share 🙂

Forgiveness

There are definitely many mistakes that I have made throughout the course of the twenty over years of my life and most of them led me to where I am now.  Among those mistakes that I have made, they have to revolve around my wrong choices in choosing a partner or what my girlfriends call it, Mr Right Now.

I had a tumultuous and tempestuous long-term relationship with a schoolmate which ended acrimoniously during my graduation and that had definitely left the greatest impact in my life thus far. It has taught me not to trust others too easily and to never give 100% of my time and effort to one man only until he is the one with whom I will call my husband.

Alas, I am a trusting person. I trust others truly easily so it’s little wonder that I never seemed to learn from that painful chapter in my life. I had sudden but brief exposures to suicide, abuse and also betrayal that I never thought I would actually come out of the chapter alive and virtually unscathed. Thankfully, I have been blessed with a tight knit of friends who have seen me in my biggest ups and greatest downfalls and are not afraid to help me up when the going gets tough.

Many, many failed relationships later, I vowed not to love another man anymore as I fear that another heartbreak will crucify my sanity but I guess my current love managed to overcome that aspect of me. With him (as how I was with my previous ex-boyfriends), I was completely transparent with my past. I told him all the nasty things I have done, all the rebellion inside of me that’s hungry to be set free and also, the hope that by being honest, he would be able to accept me with all of my imperfections. He remained quiet throughout the bouts of episodes that I throw tantrums and confided my deepest secrets. Not once did he questioned my reasons for doing what I did. In fact, he never raised his voice at me. I thought that was weird as I was used to being hurled abuse by the ex-boyfriend that it took a long time to understand that…

It’s okay not to hurt another person verbally or physically. It is the right thing to not lay a hand on anyone. Inflicting pain on another person is downright wrong.

I thought our relationship was destined to doom eventually but… Close to four years of friendship and three years of love later, he still tells me everyday that he loves me unconditionally and that regardless of what mistakes I have done in the past as it doesn’t matter to him. What matters to him is the current me and the future me that he wants to plan a future with. I guess that is where the forgiveness came from.

I learnt to forgive when I was shown the right to forgive myself in the eyes of another and to me, that is the greatest gift I can ask from anyone for myself. Forgiveness for myself is a healing experience. It was a long, long time coming but I am glad I opened myself up to this healing process. It is as though all the negativity and disappointment perish to make way to something greater than holding back. Since my birthday is coming in a few days,  I am going on another path to forgive my past 25 years of mistakes that I have yet to find the time to forgive and heal.

I hope you readers will feel the power that forgiveness has on you.
It truly feels like a miracle.
Good vibes everyday everyone!

🙂

WEEK 2: Intuition, Confidence, Vibe Raisers!

Zing zing! Today is Random Act of Kindness Day!

Do someone a kindness, either in secret or letting them know.

Some ideas ~ coins in a meter, a note of appreciation, pick up coffee for a friend, a sincere compliment, surprise your partner with their favourite yummies, do the dishes, smile at someone, buy 5 flowers and giving them out to anyone who looks like they could use some cheer (I once stood at a traffic light and gave out 7 roses to random little old ladies – it made their day but more than that, it made ME feel like I could do ANYTHING!).

But don’t do it for what you’ll get, do it for the sake of giving 🙂

I’d love to hear what you did and how the experience was for you! Got some catching up to do? You’ve got all Saturday and Sunday to dig in and get dirty :).

Have a FANTASTIC weekend!

Kindness

I already have two in line for the love and the colleague! I think I should implement it on a regular basis as there’s this element of surprise and satisfaction knowing that I have made someone’s day even if mine was a tad bit shabby.

🙂

WEEK 2: Intuition, Confidence, Vibe Raisers!

Day 9:

The happiest, most fulfilled and successful people in the world are guided by an inner knowing. Today, make at least one decision from your gut.

It could be as simple as deciding what to wear this morning / evening, following a sudden desire to go out for a walk, taking a different route to work, not thinking about what to eat for lunch but letting the answer pop out, blurting something that’s on your mind etc.

Don’t worry about getting it wrong, just act purely on impulse.

Share your experience / journal / reflect on it / email!

*

Regardless of how negative the incident that evolved from my initial gut feeling of having a meal at a location different from the norm, I harbor no ill- intentions nor regret toward my gut as at the end of the day, I know I wasn’t doing anything morally wrong. I will continue to trust my gut feeling regardless of how negative the result is as at least I am standing on my on two feet and isn’t reliant on others to validate me.

Afraid

My gut feeling today was to have lunch outside the compounds of my office to soak in the afternoon sunshine and I am baffled to know that my decision to have an otherwise-perfect solo lunch turned out to be a disappointment when I was asked to vacate the little spot I had on a a little concrete slab on the outskirts of the office building mainly because ” it isn’t nice for the ballroom guests to see you eating here.”

😦

Mind you, the ballroom was a good 40 metres away.

😦

Why did the comment upset me you may ask? Mainly because I have started eating a good ten minutes before I was stopped and ironically, the last few days I spotted a few foreigners sitting on the concrete slab next to me and having a meal there for many days.

😦

Maybe it was sheer bad luck that I was stopped but granted that I was in the security’s point-of-view, I would never chased a person away while he or she is having a decent meal. I mean granted that I am at the wrong place and at the wrong time, I believe being a little bit flexible would go a long way as I already promised not to eat there anymore. I wouldn’t have thought of eating there had there not be a person who has eaten at that same spot before.

😦

Such a disappointing moment as the manner the issue was solved wasn’t in its ideal manner. Worse, the hotel security guy even directed me to the wrong level to have my meal and that felt like the final nail to the coffin. I had to walk aimlessly through three levels to find a suitable spot away from the ballroom guests as ” it isn’t nice for the ballroom guests to see me eating there.”

😦

This is prove that if a properly-trained customer-oriented person is trained to handle such negative issues with a little dose of good humor, this matter wouldn’t have escalated to this extent. Although my consolation was that the fried belacan rice that I brought from home was absolutely delicious, this negative incident has definitely left a bad note at the back of my throat. Am I satisfied? No. Will I complain? No. Will I share with the ones close to me? Yes as good service (irrespective of situation) isn’t necessarily taught; it’s either you have it or you don’t. This gentleman obviously doesn’t.

😦

WEEK 2: Intuition, Confidence, Vibe Raisers!

For today’s mini task, think about something that’s been on your mind. Take a deep breath in for a count of 4, slowly breathe out for a count of 8. Do this 2 more times.

Now imagine that you just got a text from God / the Universe / your higher self (whatever works for you).

What does it say? Don’t 2nd guess or try to direct it, just let the answer come to you.

The text from ___ is a fantastic way to tune out your monkey mind and tune into the intuitive part of you that KNOWS everything. Allow it to help you and guide you!

*

I am thinking of changing my diet and lifestyle and incorporating a healthy diet in it. With Ramadhan creeping in next week, I have the intention to eat clean and live cleaner. I was greatly inspired when I was having lunch with a colleague who gyms every morning before she goes in to work. I am not the best morning person around but I like the fact that gym keeps her active and “awake” during the long hours ploughing in front of the laptop and through the endless meetings. Isn’t that so great? She’s even on Kayla’s BBG too; on Week 4 no less and I can feel the positive vibes that she has garnered from all of her morning regime!

I was contemplating  doing the Kayla Itsines work out before I resume fasting on normal workdays but that would mean that I will be up at 3am in the mornings for gym and 5am for a meal before fasting and sleeping by 8pm on weekday nights. I am not sure if I can but I feel excited just thinking about it. However, I think many detractors will think that I am going insane, heh. I think even the love and family will think I am too.

😀

WEEK 2: Intuition, Confidence, Vibe Raisers!

Day 7: 

Sometimes, no amount of affirmations or afformations work in the moment you need them. That’s when it’s time to bust out the WW_Ds (what would __ do). Yep, channel someone else, roleplay and act from that space! CUT OUT the over analysing, the exhausting mental calisthenics and get rowdy!

For example: If you’re feeling wimpy, ask yourself WHAT WOULD CHUCK NORRIS DO and just for a moment, BE him. Think like him, act like him, talk like him. When you can’t swing it alone, it’s time to get help from your imagination.

It doesn’t even have to be a person – could be a power animal (cheetah!), quality or object (serene pool), type of person (leader) etc.

Play with this this. When you’re faced with a decision today, ask “what would ____ do”.

*

When I am down, usually I will remind myself of Dad. What would he do if he were in my shoes? Usually, that’ll help me solve my doubts and questions as there are many things that I have not expected him to do but he does them anyway. For each time that I am troubled,  I always remind myself the struggles Daddy went through to raise me and also the many years he fought valiantly against cancer. Then it’ll make me miss him and remind myself  that if I want to live a life that will make him proud, I will have to do more things that I am afraid of so that I can do better for my family in the future. Amin!

Easy Life!

WEEK 2: Intuition, Confidence, Vibe Raisers!

Day 6

Lightly reflect on what makes YOU feel this good, this in-the-flow, this amazing. IF you’re inspired, do it today / this weekElse, just soak in the energy and vibe.

Happy BRAND new week!

xo, Tia

 

 What keeps me motivated on Mondays? Going for hours-long gym on Sundays! Truly, I enjoy burning the lactic acids off the previous week and start the new week on a brand new and revived mode. I never thought the day would come that I enjoy burning calories this much but two years on, I dare say I am! Sundays are my fun days as I get to enjoy burning fats and simply, spend quiet pockets of time just to be silent and refocus my energies and thinking on things that I would like to achieve for the following week. Sort of my idea of a me-time moment which in time keeps me happy and healthy.

Working Out

WEEK 1: Values and Perspectives

WEEK 1: Values and Perspectives

Day 5:

One way we lose our sparkle is by allowing tolerations (the # 1 energy leak!) to eat away at our peace of mind and energy.

Like the leaking tap that goes drip… drip… drip … could be nothing major, yet insidiously erodes anything it comes in contact with over a period of time. Often, we don’t even realise what’s happening till the damage has been done!

Today, shine the light of awareness on anything you’ve been avoiding or tolerating.

Then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Make a decision, finish or start something, give something away, clean your desk or closet, delete computer folders, return emails, ask for help, pay a bill, let go of something that’s not serving you … big or small, doesn’t matter.

UNBLOCK that stuck energy & free your mind 😉

*

There are many things that I have been avoiding for days and weeks and I foresee the oversight could possibly be because of my supposed “hectic” schedule and lack of time. I personally feel that if there’s one thing that I have been avoiding, it is to make even greater use of of my time.

Ever since Papa passed away, I began on this journey to better maximize the time given to me so as to not spend the rest of my life in regret over wasted time. I have learnt that being productive is important so that we can each fulfill our own needs and quantify our time to be spent better in the company of others versus sitting around and waiting for things to happen.

I see my elder brother as a clear example of someone who isn’t making full use of his time. I would say that if I am in my mid-thirties right now, I envision myself to be a successful career woman who is in a stable and loving marriage to the man of my dreams. I envision us being in different careers but the similarities between us is the common goal that we have to butter up each other for the next promotion, next curve ball, next challenge God has planned for us. We may, or may not have kids when I am 35 but I am confident that by then, we will probably have moved in to our new home and build a bright and beautiful future together as we anticipate the arrival of a bundle of joy. I know I dream of keeping a cat or two in my future home with my husband first just to “try out” parenthood before we dive into the 9-month-of-crazy-mood-swings and a lifetime of being responsible for the upbringing of a child from God.

We may not be there yet but I know we are closer to that dream today than yesterday. So how do we get ahead and get things done?

We plan better and make better use of the time we have now. 🙂 AMIN!

 

WEEK 1: Values and Perspectives

Day 4: Afformations (with an O instead of I)

Last night, I had a very fascinating conversation with the love. I asked him if he can envisioned me doing a secretarial position in PPHG when my concierge contract ends in October. Then he posed back at me the same question and asked if I can envision myself as a secretary. Then it got me thinking…

In all honesty, I am aware that I have a knack for planning and prioritizing but I never envisioned myself to be someone’s secretary. Don’t get me wrong, there are fabulous secretaries where I am working at who have done more than what I have done in my work experience and they mostly become secretaries mainly for the stability of a proper job after years of chasing the corporate ladder. Maybe I can do that when I am pushing 40? But for now I still envision myself being one of the leaders in a company more than playing a supportive role. Presently, I am in a simple routine office position that doesn’t require even rocket Science but after this, I know the future is so wide that I have plenty of places that I can go to and grow.

Leading a large team in IKEA, McDonald’s and AI has led me to the belief that given the right circumstances and good timing, I can get to where I envision myself to be in and be able to lead a team of subordinates. It may not be in a top management position or a steering committee of a conglomerate but I think I belief I can get “there” wherever my destiny will lead me.

Closer than Yesterday

Today, I afform to ask myself…

“Why am I so ambitious?”

WEEK 1: Values and Perspectives

Day 3:

 

1) Close your eyes and think about a peak experience in your life – when you were truly happy, feeling good, on top of the world. It could be when you were a child, a teen, an adult, doesn’t matter.

2) Now, relive the experience: What’s been happening? Where are you & what are you doing? Feeling? Who is around? What’s making you smile about this moment? Use all your senses to really immerse yourself in the experience you are remembering.

3) What is the essence or quality that you feel most? Joy? Accomplishment? Peace? Love? Freedom? Fulfillment? 

Now, with this word in mind, allow an image or symbol to come to you, that represents this feeling. Don’t worry if nothing comes to you immediately, just focus on the feeling and sensations in your body instead and make a note of them.

There are one too many experiences in my life that can be considered a peak experience. I will just relive the happiness that I felt yesterday when I was enroute to the gym. I had this surge of excitement even though I was lacking sleep from the night before from all the excitement of the World Cup.

Sometimes it’s really funny how one can actual find the happiness in the simplest of  ideas and I guess it had been a long time coming since I was so happy to be able to gym on a beautiful Sunday even though it was raining particularly heavy when I was enroute gym. I even had this sentenced muttered when I was walking to the gym,

“Rain all you want God, all the rain isn’t going to stop me from going to the gym!” 🙂

Gym

Upon reaching the gym, I was in ultra high spirits! I greeted everyone in the gym like the usual gym-rats and also strike a long conversation with the gym receptionist! When I was beginning my workouts, I had the bubbliness and a smile that was infectious! I couldn’t stop smiling as I was truly happy to my core knowing that I made the effort to go to the gym even when it was a Sunday and I am taking small but necessary steps to nourish my body better than before I started gym awhile back! Maybe that is how it was like to be radiating happiness but I totally love it!

Happiness; in its totality was what I felt. The sensation that I feel? It felt as though I was basking in a ray of sunshine. I felt warm and fuzzy inside as though I was experiencing the first sight of my love. As what my mantra is now, good vibes good vibes!

🙂

WEEK 1: Values and Perspectives

Day 2 prompt:

So how was the values exercise for you? On a scale of 1-10, are you living life or making decisions aligned with your values? 

Today, let’s play the Eagle & Ant game! Take a current challenge / issue you have and look at it from close up like an Anty Antikins (BE the Ant).

Now, move back further.. further… further … till you’re an Elegant Eagle in the sky and look at it again. What happens? What do you see, hear, feel, think in each situation?

If inspired, choose a perspective to be in today and look at everything from that angle.

Write, talk about it, think, or share in the FB group. There’s no one way to do this, just YOUR way.

On a scale from 1- 10, I believe I am doing a 7 in aligning myself  with my values. The values exercise has helped me realize that all along, I have been holding on to the same set of values and it is a great feeling knowing that I am grounded by a similar set of  values all along. At least I know I am in no way swaying between sides and is not sure what drives me.

🙂

I have a few challenge that I would like to overcome in the next coming months and years. The short-term goal that I would like to overcome is to increase my fitness for the coming months to be a better, leaner and fitter version of myself. In all honesty, I do feel overwhelmed when I think about the huge investment I am going to put myself in for the next few months to continue to dedicate my free time to changing my lifestyle for the better with the inclusion of fitness in my day-to-day motion. I guess that is where Anty Antikins come into play?

There are times that I feel the easiest way out is the best way to do things but as I grew older, I have come to realize that easy does not always gets things done. Even if it does, there’s a high chance that I am not satisfied with the end result.

However, if I do take a step back and be an Elegant Eagle, I believe I can do a fabulous job of working my butt off at the gym with that grueling course. I am not sweating for a wedding in the near future but I am excited to know that I am doing my part to nourish my body with the right fitness and eating lifestyle so that the future-old me won’t have to worry so much about her health and instead, be able to live life to the fullest. I have been gym-ing the last two years and I know I can incorporate gym into my current work-life schedule. I just need to be persistent and be able to see through my goals till the end of the course cycle and hopefully, repeat the cycle for as long as I am able to.

🙂

I’m feeling the excitement, I shall strive to have the excitement burst out of all of my activities today and hopefully, shape up to an exciting mid-week! Here’s wishing everyone a happy and exciting week ahead as well. Lots of love!

Success!

WEEK 1: Values and Perspectives

Day 1 prompt: 

Values Mining! List your top 5 values, the ones that matter the most to you – if you’ve never done this before, just brain dump and start writing everything you can think of, then pick the 5 that resonate most. If you’ve done it before, revisit your top values and see if they still resonate or if they’ve changed.

 

Perhaps I will share with you what are the few values that I hold close to my heart before I start shortlisting the 5 that I am going to choose for my course.

Accomplishment

Activeness

Adventure

Affection

Ambition

Balance

Calmness

Change

Chastity

Cleanliness

Comfort

Commitment

Compassion

Confidence

Conservation

Consistency

Courtesy

Decisiveness

Devotion

Discipline

Drive

Empathy

Encouragement

Elegance

Energy

Entertainment

Environmentalism

Ethics

Excitement

Faith

Family

Fascination

Fashion

Fidelity

Financial Independance

Fitness

Frankness

Frugality

Fun

Generosity

Gregariousness

Growth

Happiness

Health

Honesty

Honor

Hospitality

Humour

Hygiene

Imagination

Independance

Inspiration

Joy

Liveliness

Love

Loyalty

Marriage

Maturity

Motivation

Nature

Neatness

Open-mindness

Optimism

Patience

Passion

Peace

Perfection

Perserverance

Persistence

Piety

Pleasure

Practicality

Pride

Privacy

Professionalism

Prudence

Relaxation

Sensuality

Serenity

Sexiness

Shrewdness

Sincerity

Spontaneity

Stability

Strength

Support

Temperance

Thrift

Trust

Truth

Uniqueness

Vitality

Warmheartedness

Wisdom

(Extracted from: http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles/list-of-values.htm)

As I read and write the few values that resonate in my life, I can clearly see how that my values tend to fall under similar categories and I am glad they do! Or else I will have a hard time shortlisting them to the top 5.

With that, I have decided to shortlist the values to these 5:

Independance

Love

Happiness

Fitness

Thrift

I would gladly add 5 more to include family, trust, pleasure, practicality and growth though.

🙂

PS: Stay tuned for Day 2 tomorrow!